We are not an island...

Yesterday I put a teabag in my squash glass and orange juice on my bran flakes. The cat nearly got fed washing powder and you can guess what ended up in the washing machine... (not pretty)...

Now, I’m not saying my situation is the worst in the world, or, that I’m alone in feeling what I felt, but for me, yesterday was incredibly hard, because I was that bit more frazzled than usual. And I’m sure many people in my situation will feel the same.  

You see, I’m a working mum who is in charge of two totally crazy, boisterous, loving, super active, massively intelligent, but, as a result, very hard work little boys. I also work long hours and my family all live miles away.

My boys are so close together in age that they love to jump and scream and shout and kick balls in the house and roll about with each other non stop, but they’re also terrible at listening and most definitely will not PUT THEIR SHOES OR COATS ON when it’s time to go anywhere. Ever.

They have no concept of time, or consequence. Life is far too fun to think about things like that. Even when it’s 2am, then 3am, then 4am and they just want to know if it’s morning yet, or how many days there are until Christmas. Sometimes they even tag team through the night to thoughtfully give each other a rest.

When you’re a lone parent dealing with the exhaustion that comes with these daily battles, as well as trying to remember the umpteen things they need for school, not to mention the hectic work day that lies ahead, day after day, after day, it’s not surprising that one of those days your mind, body and soul decides it can take no more.

That day was yesterday. And it wasn’t a fun experience at all.

Yet, here I am on the other side of a really tough day and you know what I realised? That, while I’m doing the best I can and getting the right nutrition, regular exercise and practising healthy thinking, that even then it isn’t always enough and those days will come.

We are, after all, only made of flesh and bone. None of us are superhuman. And there is only so much we can take.

It’s times like this that we must rely on the love and support of our closest friends and family. Those who we know, without a doubt, only have our best interests at heart.

It’s those people who were there for me yesterday, helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel and work out a way to cope better in the future.

These amazing, stunning people were there to pick me up and inspire me to carry on. Not only did they help me in practical ways, but they also helped me to realise that I needed to be kinder to myself for the sake of my children and of course my own well being.

So, what I’m saying is this. There are lots of ways to help yourself but remember you’re not an island. Never be scared to admit you’re struggling and never be afraid to ask for help.

We’re all human. We’re all in this together and we all deserve happiness, whether young or old, rich or poor.

Enhancing my nutrition - here's how

So, many of my mummy friends and fellow fitness fans have been asking me what all the fuss is about regarding this new nutrition drive that I’m undertaking, what I’m actually doing and why. What is Isagenix, does it really work and how?

Well, in short, over the next few weeks, I’m going to find out. If I’m honest, I need some more happy in my life and, while the exercise and mindfulness is working wonders, I’ve been looking for some added ways to improve my overall wellbeing. So, I’ve decided to look at my nutrition, with the aim of achieving a better lifestyle moving forward.

I can’t stress enough how getting the right fuel into your body makes all the difference, while a diet full of toxins, in addition to the likes of smoking and heavy drinking can make you feel like absolute shite (to put it bluntly). I mean, how can you expect a diesel car to run well if you put petrol in it?

But the thing is, I do like a drink of an evening (don’t most overworked Mums?) …. And because the thought of completely giving up everything that I enjoy sends me cold, frankly, I have been looking at ways to help my body by putting more of the right stuff in, while not taking (all) of the bad stuff out.

So, here’s what I’m trying in the lead up to Christmas to see how much better it makes me feel. This is in addition to HIIT four times a week, while reading more into mindfulness and focusing on the positive influences in my life.

Cleanse day – twice a month

 

A cleanse day involves not eating all day, but taking on the right amount of nutrients your body needs through specially formulated liquids, with the odd little snack added in.

It’s a great way to flush all of the toxins out of your body, strengthen your immune system, support your vital organs and give your liver a break.

And I was pleased to say, in the days after, I felt a real boost, both to my focus and positivity along with a reduction of fatigue and a visible improvement to my health.

Products required for a cleanse day include the revitalising Nourish for Life drink and Ionix Supreme – a shot which you can take every morning to manage stress and enhance wellbeing throughout the day.

I also used the Amped Hydrate drink, as I like to work out most days – so this helps replenish the vitamins, electrolytes and water that your body loses during exercise.

I LOVE ISAGENIX E-SHOTS FOR EXERCISE!

 

 

And then this brings me onto the Isagenix e-shot…

Sometimes when I exercise it feels like wading through cement. But exercise is something which needs to be done regularly in order to maintain healthy levels of fitness.

That’s why I love the e-shot – because it’s like giving yourself an energy boost before exercise with none of the nasties in it. Essentially, it’s made from caffeine, but this is naturally sourced plant based caffeine, which comes from green tea and yerba mate, both of which are considered to have much better effects on the body than tea and coffee.

So, you get the alertness and boost, without the headaches, shakes, or dips in energy afterwards.

Here are some of the other products I’m trying:

 

 

IsaLean Shake – people often have these when they’re looking to lose weight, or maintain it. Personally, while weight loss isn’t a massive thing for me, I quite like the thought of swapping the midday crisps and biscuits for a milkshake which contains only the right nutrients. So I thought I’d give this a go to see how replacing the naughty food with the right stuff can help.

IsaMove – there has been lots in the press lately about how people aren’t getting enough magnesium in their diets. This in turn can aid depression – something which is big on my agenda to tackle. Taking this daily supplement before bed helps support the body’s natural functions overnight, enabling it to better absorb nutrients, recover and repair from the stresses of the day before.

 

So, that’s it – the reasons why I’m focusing on nutrition and how I’m planning to do it!

Will feedback over the next few weeks on how well it worked and in the meantime, if you would like to know more, give me a shout or get in touch with my scientist buddy Lynsey Stuart at lynzagenix@gmail.com, or via her Facebook page – aptly calledLynzagenix.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My journey - the road to happiness and self improvement

I've been battling depression since childhood. It probably comes as no surprise. 

After I had my babies, post natal depression joined the party too. 

It's easy to feel like a failure when you suffer from something that people can't see, but if there's one thing I've learnt, it's that the only person you ever need to impress is yourself. 

Because, at the end of the day, when all's said and done, we enter this world on our lonesome and we leave exactly the same way. 

I've blogged a lot in the past about the importance of being kind and unselfish. And it's something I still, and always will, stand by. But, what's the point spending your life helping others, when you're neglecting to help yourself? What good does that do for the world around you? 

Of course, getting the help you need is vital for your own well being - wherever that help comes from, whatever form, or combination it takes.

 

So, let's start from the beginning. Five years ago I felt heavy, unfit and unattractive - it tends to happen when you've had a rugrat or two. So, I began the journey to lose weight and hopefully in the process boost my self esteem.

A couple of years ago I ramped it up and managed to lose two stone, thanks to a combination of HIIT and the 5:2 diet. (What I didn't realise at the time was that phase 1 of my self improvement journey had begun). 

Phase one - fitness

In the last few years I've grown massively in love with exercise (well, to be fair, it's a bit of a love/hate relationship) - I quite often hate it when I'm doing it, but afterwards it feels amazing. 

As well as the physical improvement to my health and appearance, I never cease to be amazed by the positive energy and mental boost that a regular fitness routine can bring - and I swear it helps manage depression no end. 

Three to four times a week for the last few years, I've been doing HIIT and Pilates and, up until very recently, I've felt amazing both physically and mentally. It's one thing to lose the weight, but maintaining it through a healthy lifestyle and regular exercise is the key to continued feelings of health, wellbeing and positivity.

Then, a few months ago, I lost a much loved friend from my life. Someone so important and massively influential to me and my children, that their sudden absence was a catalyst for a complete return of the depression, along with strong feelings of low self worth and loneliness, that were worse than I'd ever experienced before.

So, I could have gone two ways. One, the dark route, or the other 'lets try and fix this' way. Of course, because I have two little dependant critters to take care of for the next few years, the first was never a practical option. 

There were two ways to go about the 'lets fix this....', both of which were good ideas.
 

Firstly, the help of a medical professional is always advisable, so a trip to the doctor was a good plan. Secondly, there are ways to help yourself - and the great thing I realised was that this had already begun with the fitness.

 

Phase two - mental and spiritual development

The exercise was helping with my state of mind anyway, enabling me to feel more positive and happy, thanks to the feel good endorphins which were being released every time I worked out. 

But, in light of recent events, I needed more, and this was where good friends and a couple of really amazing mentors stepped in to teach me about mindfulness and ways to manage the different parts of my mind to help myself feel better from within. 

Here I was able to address my feelings of sadness and low self worth, through books such as Prof Steve Peters' 'The Chimp Paradox' - an exceptional publication which seemed to understand my thought processes and show me the most positive ways to deal with and adapt them. To this day, mental and spiritual improvement remains an ongoing phase of my life. There are up days and big time down ones, but generally things are on the up. 

The next book I'm looking forward to reading is "The Four Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom," by Don Miguel Ruiz... This, again, has come highly recommended to me as a way to help myself rediscover the happiness and love that I lost.

 

And then this brings me on to the newest way to help myself on the road to self improvement: 

Phase 3 - nutrition

I realised that the good effects of exercise and spiritual development are hindered by allowing an overspill of toxins into your body. 

Don't get me wrong, it's great to let loose and have the odd treat or night out. But, when you're using them to self medicate, that's different.  It's pretty much the most unhelpful thing I could do to myself.

Binging on cakes and sweets, while allowing myself to use alcohol as a crutch to numb the pain was stopping the healthy changes to my lifestyle from having the best possible effect. 

So I'm just about to begin on phase three - the path to better nutrition - in the hope that it will positively benefit the first two phases. 

And with that I've discovered Isagenix... A nutrition system that helps you to feel better in yourself, more energised and healthy, while getting a good night's sleep in the process (something I've been missing a lot lately).

My scientist friend Lynsey told me about it a while ago, and I must say, I was impressed. People use it the world over to aid in weight loss, give increased energy, or offer a boost to their fitness routine. So what harm could getting the right stuff into my body for a change do? 

I've decided to give Isagenix a go and over the next month I will be feeding back on the difference it is making to my life as a busy mum, in addition to the exercise and spiritual journey. I'm also going to try and cut down on the booze... (I said try!!)

The box arrives later this week, so watch this space! And in the meantime, find out more about Isagenix through Lynsey's shop :)

Axx

How tragic events of late are changing me

Sometimes it’s so easy to exist in this little bubble of loveliness that we create for ourselves, completely oblivious to the world around us.

But, in recent times, whether you live on a remote island or in the heart of the city, it’s hard to miss some of the life changing and terrible things that have been going on.

I’m not even talking of the atrocities of Syria or Middle Africa - these images and news stories in particular, more horrific than ever. What I’m talking about is the stories closer to home.

Tragic events unfolding in London and Manchester. Stories which now, on a regular basis, make us hold our children that bit closer at night and remember to tell them more than ever, how much we love them.

Attacks happening left, right and centre on people, innocent people, who did nothing more than to just try and co-exist on this odd little planet of ours.

And worse still - attacks on young ones. Mindless violence that makes your stomach feel like it could escape through your mouth, while you dissolve into an endless torrent of disbelief and sadness.

Amidst all this, it’s had me wondering, why on earth do some still fail to drag their heads out of their own arses and start putting others first?

Why is it so hard to understand that our actions impact the thoughts, feelings and behaviour of others?

From the smile at a stranger on the street to the helping hand, or the friendly compliment, moment of chivalry at a road junction, or act of charity, given with the aim of bringing light to the lives of people who are wondering where it’s gone.

I’m not going to bang on much more about being nice, because, while I think that it’s in us all, some just forget they have it (or conveniently forget).  But you know me, I always try to find the positive.

And, what I will say, is that among all this I see moments of beauty, kindness, love and light. People changing the lives of others, simply for the sake of helping those less fortunate than themselves.

It’s that which gives me hope. That which makes me believe we can fight this scourge of evil. Not through hatred, but by carrying on regardless, like our grandparents and great grandparents did before us.

By believing in what we stand for, by setting the best examples and showing the world that no matter how dark things get, our spirit and resolve will never be weakened.

Live life, love and be happy. Bring this light to others, be enlightened and fulfilled.

Stop trying to be something you aren’t, allowing others to shape the way you think and act - and let yourself be happy in who you are. Kill anger and hate with kindness, positive action and thoughtfulness – it works loads more, I promise.

 

 

 

Why I’m still loving this baby blanket six years on…

When I first became a mum I was clueless. Not just the ‘never done it before’ clueless, but the ‘didn’t even realise babies needed to sleep a lot and only drank milk’ clueless. And they didn’t come with an instruction manual either. 

As I write, I’m actually wondering right now how, with sleep deprivation added to the rabbit in the headlights type bewilderment, that my baby managed to stay in the land of the living, but somehow we got through it together. (Tougher than you think, these babies, clearly!)

When my first born came along, the poor little thing was blighted with a milk allergy and eczema, something which I had kindly passed on to him, being asthmatic and prone to allergies myself. I found out at the time it was called atopy.

Sadly in the months leading up to the medical professionals discovering his allergies, it led to nasty patches of eczema all over his body which would weep and bleed, leaving a very unhappy and uncomfortable baby. (Little did I know at the time that the milk allergy was causing him pain on the inside, as well as the horrible eczema that I could see). Totally distressing for everyone concerned.

Anyway, in among the total life change and getting used to having a little person to keep alive, I was overwhelmed by the kindness of friends and family, who provided me with gifts that I could really use. We’re talking babygros, vests and blankets, muslin squares and bibs – all of the kind of things that a new mum really needs.

And one gift which stuck out in particular was a pot of organic nappy cream and a beautiful bamboo baby blanket from Natures Purest.

 

 

 

This is a company which prides itself on producing a range of baby accessories, clothes and toys which are completely chemical free, so that parents can be sure they will be kindest to a newborn’s skin. The organic nature of the products make them perfect for children who are prone to allergies.

In the past I always believed that organic cotton would be scratchy and uncomfortable, due to the absence of the softeners and other chemicals. However, I was really surprised. Not only could I use this breathable cotton blanket to keep my baby warm while he slept, in the knowledge that his skin wouldn’t react to the material, but it was and still is luxuriously soft too.

In doing their extra bit for the environment, the attractive box that the silky smooth blanket came in was made from recycled card, which was finished with a pretty hand tied bow.

I still have the blanket six years on, despite most of my baby stuff having hit the loft for posterity or made a trip to the charity shops. This is something I really don’t want to part with, even after all this time and it still makes a nice snuggly blanket for when my poorly boys are having a day off on the sofa.

If you’re looking for a gift to give parents of a new baby, then this squares bamboo greeting blanket is really worth a look. Find out more at www.naturespurest.co.uk

Beating the darker times

In a rare and brief dalliance with daytime television today, I came across an interview with Terry Waite.

It was a name I hadn't heard of for many years, but one I had always remembered, because of this man's amazing strength and tenacity in enduring five years of torture and captivity at the hands of Beirut terrorists.

In the brief snippet on ITV's This Morning, this humanitarian and author was a true inspiration and the words he said that struck me most were these:

"If you allow anger to fester, then ultimately it will end up doing you more harm than those you feel the anger towards.."

In no way could I compare my own experiences to this outstanding man, but yet I realised that this powerful statement could apply to and help every single one of us. Even down to lesser circumstances, such as my dad's road rage and me telling him that only his stress levels would be affected by his rant.

The quote also applies to pain and the way we deal with it. If someone hurts you, whether intended or not, the only way to deal with it has to be to let it go.

Earlier this week my heart broke into many pieces and for a time my life went black (and so did my Facebook profile). Life felt pretty effing sh1t (yes my potty mouth diminishes drastically in the written word for some absurd reason).

But, quickly, I realised the negative contribution that allowing myself to hurt for long would cause. Yes, crying is good, releasing the pain is good. But, dwelling on it or allowing it to fester can only be bad.

So here are some of the ways I've picked myself up off the floor this week and hopefully they might help you feel a little more positive through the dark times too.

• Exercise - (had to be first now didn't it). I still get a load out of the feel good hormones that exercises produces, so I upped my weekly workouts from three to six and felt better for it.
• Be silly - act the fool, whether on your own or with friends. In my case it was doing a really silly, loud and crazy version of rockabye baby with my children. It made them laugh their heads off and me smile too.
• Give yourself something to look forward to. Whether it's a night out at the weekend, shopping trip, or couple of glasses of wine at the end of the day.
• Be nice - it's so easy to feel bitter, but hate and resentment only serves to make you feel worse more than anything.
• Keep telling yourself good stuff. Be your own biggest fan. Find stuff that's good about you and keep reminding yourself about it, until you believe it.
• Catch up with friends. Laugh, joke, have fun.
• Be pragmatic - look at what you have got, rather than focusing on what you haven't and make the most out of it.
• Get outside - yes, it's been flipping freezing lately, but wrap up warm and get out for a good walk, take some good, deep breaths and feel your soul cleanse.
• Do something nice for someone. It always makes me feel better anyway.
• Dance like no-one's looking. Stick on some crazy tunes and really go for it. Go on, you know you want to ;)

So what do you reckon? This is how I picked myself up this week and what I'm going to keep doing until the pain starts to ease and I don't have to think about how I'm going to feel good anymore.
If, like me, you've found yourself wanting to close yourself off in a dark room and cry your heart out for days on end, maybe try these instead?

Compliments to complement your day

As you all might have gathered from my constant banging on about exercise, getting in a good workout is one of my favourite things to do. And Pilates of an evening I find is a great way to de-stress and set yourself up for a good night's sleep.

So, following a Pilates class recently, I was all ready to head home for my cup of green tea and bed (oh, how my halo chokes me), when another lady who had been in the class approached me. Out of the blue she said: "You really are good at this. I was watching you do some of the exercises and really hope I can do them that well one day."

Just like that. A random compliment from a stranger, who then disappeared into the night without a by your leave. And do you know what? She probably has no idea, but it made my night.

You see, these days, it's so easy to go about our lives oblivious to those around us and even if we do notice something nice about someone, it's rare that we say it. Perhaps, people assume that if you look good, that you know it already, or, if they tell you something nice, then you might wonder what they're after.

But personally, I think I speak for the majority of people who don't have the benefit of walking round thinking how amazing we are and when someone says something nice it can make all the difference to our confidence and self esteem. At least for the next five minutes or so, anyway.

That compliment doesn't have to come from a stranger either. All too often people get so used to seeing their friends and loved ones around them and forget to say when they're looking particularly nice or have done something particularly well.

A compliment isn't a guy staring lasciviously at your boobs, or some sycophant saying what they think you want to hear in order to gain grace and favour. Like with the lady at Pilates, it should be an observation, made freely with no hidden agenda. Something that simply is what it is. And it's these kind of compliments which can make all the difference, not only to the individual, but to society in general. Because genuine niceness and decency is infectious.

It's for this very reason that I compliment my children when they've done something good, or made an effort too. It's in the hope of a brighter future. One where it's ok to be nice to others, to smile, to be happy and make others happy with no personal gain, other than the knowledge that you've done something good.

So, instead of keeping yourself to yourself, why don't you dish out a few genuine compliments today and see how much better it makes you feel!

It's ok to say how you feel.. It really is!

Been thinking a lot about honesty and transparency these days. Ever since I became a mum, while being a lot more comfortable talking about things like poo and willies (so much so that my non parent friends cover their eyes and ears), I've also seemed to develop a thicker skin. And I think it might be a mummy thing.

So much stuff goes over your head when you've got ten million things to think of and remember at once. Jokes, insults and blatant truths are nowhere near as shocking or offensive as they used to be and I've found myself so much more adept at laughing stuff off.

I think it's something to do with just not having the time to be bothered. And let's face it, when you've been in labour and given birth in the most undignified way, there's not much after that that's going to floor you either.

One thing I do value these days above anything else isn't hiding your feelings for the sake of politeness, but honesty, openness and transparency. Whether I like what I hear or not, I value the fact that people are honest with me.

You don't like me? Fine, I can handle that! You think something I did was wrong or misguided? Do feel free to tell me, because I value your opinion and truly believe that you have a right to feel the way you do. (Unless you're a 70 something tutting at my child for making the slightest sound, as though all those years back your children really were seen and not heard... Really? Were they? I think you might be going a little senile in your senior years my dear 😁)...

But in all honesty, I prefer people to be real with me, no matter what it is they have to say. Wonderful examples of this are my friends, Michelle, Hayley and Ang. Yeah they can be down right offensive at times, but it's their opinion and honesty that comes with it that I value more than anything. It's also the reason why I love them so much. None of it is malicious and there's no back stabbing, in fact 99% of the time we have a laugh.

These are people who would much rather let you know their thoughts than tell other people in the roundabout hope that it will finally make its way to you and I just wish everyone was like it.

All I'll say is be confident in your opinion and if you can back it up with reasoned and intelligent argument, why feel scared to express it?

Honesty, transparency and openness are my buzzwords for this year as I truly believe that taking away the underhanded nature of backstabbing will help people be happier and more positive all round. Ditch the negative vibes, express your problems, deal with them and move on. Problem solved.

Why I'm inspired...

Sadly it's become all too apparent in the last year how important it is to make the most of what we have. There was a time when I thought I was invincible. That I’d never grow old and I’d never die (to quote the Lost Boys) but now, only recently people my age have started getting sick, some unlikely to recover, and that’s just not right.

Some of the brightest, strongest, most beautiful, most intelligent people I’ve ever known are being affected by devastating illness and there’s no rhyme or reason to any of it.

No matter who you are or what you’ve done, your time to jump off this mortal plain can hit you right between the eyes, just when you’re not expecting it, so what can you do in the meantime?

I’m always banging on about being good to others. About making the world a better place one person at a time and I still stand by that sentiment. Be inspired to do good and inspire the same in others and together let’s change the world. But there’s something else we can do too and that is to become masters of our own destiny.

Believe that you deserve to be treated decently. Believe that you’re beautiful, because no matter how you look, if you’re beautiful on the inside this will always shine through. Treat others how you would expect to be treated yourself, but this works both ways. If people don’t treat you well, why hang around? If someone makes you feel unimportant, unloved and you’re not liking yourself because of it, do something about it.

Move on. Give that love that you’re so good at giving to someone who deserves it and in doing so become master of your own destiny. Allow yourself to be loved, cared about and respected in the way that you should be. If someone is making you feel less than you are, then that’s their fault, not yours. Have people around you who love you for you. Take the negative influences out of your life and surround yourself with love and laughter. In doing so bring happiness back to your life and begin to notice the beauty all around you once more.

Life is precious and life is short, so do yourself a favour and become master of your own destiny. Believe that you deserve a life and allow yourself to live it.

And back to the title of this post… if you’re wondering why I’m inspired, it’s because of those beautiful, strong, courageous people out there that I mentioned earlier. Those who I might not be able to have a coffee with for very much longer. They are the ones who have inspired me. To help myself as well as others and to start feeling better inside.

The Fast Diet Kitchen – one of the great secrets to dieting success!

Ok, so I’ll be the first to admit it, I put on more than a couple of pounds on over Christmas and wasn’t happy with the flabby outcome. Yes, I was probably only just on the wrong side of the healthy/ overweight line, but the fact is I didn’t like what I saw.

So, in delightfully tacky tradition, I made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight and get fit and healthy at the same time – in turn making myself feel happier with my over all appearance. But how to do it? We all know that it’s harder to lose weight the less you weigh and those last few pounds are the hardest to get off, so how was I going to make a real difference?

Well firstly HIIT!! No – I wasn’t hitting myself – HIIT stands for High Intensity Interval Training. I chose Jillian Michaels’ punishing 30 Day Shred to push myself through every morning for 20 minutes and while hating it most of the time, loved the results on my body afterwards and the overall feeling of well being that it gave me. In fact, I went past the 30 days and am still doing it now! And Pilates once a week - lovely, lovely Pilates - now my favourite way to get a lovely stretch, relax and six pack of an evening!

But, what about food? I knew that my love affair with chocolate and sugary cakes and sweets had to come to an end, but would this be enough to lose some serious weight? Probably not. So, having found out about The Fast Diet I thought I’d give it a go. The Fast Diet or 5:2 Diet involves eating fairly healthily, but pretty much what you like for five days a week and fasting for two by having no more than 500 calories on your fast day. By harking back to many centuries ago, when food wasn't in regular supply, the body is conned into thinking it's in a potential famine situation and gets leaner and tougher as a result. Sounds easy enough, but it’s really actually quite hard getting three meals a day in that total 500 calories!

So someone told me about The Fast Diet Kitchen, which provides you with a series of healthy ready meals to assist you on the fast days. Every calorie is counted and the meals – a soup at lunchtime and an evening meal - contain some really healthy ingredients so you know you’re getting the right stuff into you on your fast days as well. To be honest though, diet food? I thought it would taste vile, but I was actually quite pleasantly surprised.

Yes, some of the meals weren’t to my taste, but the majority of them were lovely. I particularly liked the aromatic chicken curry and the beef and ale casserole – they were really yummy and I couldn’t believe that each meal was loads less than 300 calories! So basically, for a few weeks I had a breakfast of around 100 calories on my fast days, then chose a soup and evening meal to add up to a total of 500 calories.

Yes, fasting took some getting used to the first few times and to start with I was quite miserable on my fast days, but gradually my body got used to it and I actually felt healthier on the fast days than the other days!

I also found that exercising and keeping busy on the fast days helped with the hunger pangs too. As the weeks moved on I really started to notice the difference with a combination of HIIT and fasting and guess what? I have actually lost 10kg in two months!! That’s a flipping stone and a half in old money!!

The Mummy tummy (or so I called it, even though my oldest is now two) is no more and I feel so much better for it! Even the jeans that never used to fit me and sat in my wardrobe for years are now too big!

I don’t know how long I’ll be able to make it last for – hopefully I’ve made a fitter and healthier change for life now, but all I can say is it most definitely worked and I’m mega impressed! So thank you Jillian Michaels and the Fast Diet Kitchen – I love you both!

10 things I'll be teaching my children

As parents we strive for the best for our children; and as good parents we strive for them to be the best they can be. I'm not talking horrendous pushy stage mums, trying to force their children into achieving their own unfulfilled dreams. I mean instilling and encouraging the right values and attitudes in our children, through setting a good example ourselves.

While schools give education - maths, English, science etc - I still believe that it’s the parents’ role to invest time and energy in raising their children to be half decent contributors to a positive and happy society. So here are some things that I think are important.

1) Be assertive – the other day, my son told me he was sad at pre school that no one came to play with him. So I suggested that if no one came to play with him, maybe he could try going to play with them. In life we can't expect things to come to us, but likewise, we should be positive and confident about going for what we want to achieve.

2) Confidence – some of the nicest children I've ever met come from military families, not only because they're polite, but because they are also some of the most confident children I've ever met. Believe in yourself and your ability and others will too.

3) Self defence – the world we live in can be a cruel and horrible place at times. I plan on equipping my children with the knowledge and ability to defend themselves both physically and mentally should disaster happen.

4) Good manners – it may sound old fashioned, but I really value hearing and seeing good manners both in children and adults. I also believe that a well mannered person will get further in life, be more successful and achieve more.

5) Tenacity - don't give up if you fail at the first hurdle. Believe in yourself and your ability. Keep trying. Most of the world’s most successful people didn't get to where they are straight away and it wasn't handed to them on a plate. Tenacity is the best way to succeed.

6) Self belief – too often children are criticised or put down by adults much more than they are praised. If your confidence is damaged from the start, what chance do you have? Praise the things your children do well and encourage them, this way they they will believe in themselves and be more likely to succeed.

7) Kindness – sometimes I just think there’s not enough kindness and caring in the world. I plan to teach my children to be kind to others and be helpful where they can. Hopefully by doing so they will be positive contributors to a good community.

8) Compassion – in a similar way to kindness, I want my children to think from another's perspective as well as their own, and try to understand about the feelings of others. When someone is hurt, for instance, I want them to be the ones who help. We’ve just had Martin Luther King Day, so, as he said: “Somebody must have sense enough and morality enough to cut off the chain of hate and the chain of evil in the universe. And you do that by love.”

9) Value of learning – we all know that a good education can help you be successful in life. But that's not just about doing sums or reading Shakespeare, it's about going into the world with our eyes open and sucking up all it has to offer. I want my children to be keen to learn, have understanding of its importance and to love learning too.

10) Thoughtfulness – in the early stages of child development, it's obvious that to a young child the world revolves about them and that's all part of the development process. But as they grow, I want to encourage them to think about their actions and the effects it will have on others. Somebody once said to me: “Engage brain before body,” and I think it's probably some good advice.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm a perfect parent, far from it. But I do think that with a bit of effort, patience, time, faith and understanding on my part I can give my children the best possible start in life and by doing that give them the opportunity to be the best they can be.

Banish negativity; bring the happy

Someone once told me that full time mums (and dads) can be more susceptible to depression and loneliness than you might imagine.

It's easy to see why when you think about it, after all, parenting can be a hectic and pretty tough job, not to mention being more tiring than tiredness itself.

We often spend most of our days caring for our small people, with little or no adult interaction. And, while we're focusing on developing tiny minds and characters, we're spending little time on keeping our own brains active.

Before having children your brain might have been used to being permanently part of the adult world. Then, when you became a parent, chances are, things became very different. It's understandable that, as parents, we might therefore feel a bit lonely and isolated at times with such a big change to our lives and mindset taking place.

Clearly, if you're suffering from depression in the real sense of the word, then it's important to seek professional help and guidance and there are loads of treatments and therapies out there that can help, so please don't be afraid or embarrassed to go and see what they are.

If you're just feeling a little flat, unhappy, isolated or low and those negative thoughts are far too frequent, there are things you can do to change it.

I've been really into the concept of bringing the happy lately, and with Blue Monday fast approaching this can't be a bad thing, so…

Make that choice… it's not the easiest thing to do at times, but the first step is to choose to be positive rather than negative. There's no point doing things to be more positive if you don't really want to.

Exercise regularly… Exercise is a big way for me to bring that happy and keep it there. When I'm feeling a bit low, a HIIT workout or brisk walk in the fresh air goes down a treat for boosting my energy and mood. If you join an exercise class, it's also a little escape to the adult world for a change and a chance to meet others.

Bring someone else's happy… I can't quite work out out whether Blue Monday is supposed to be January 19 or 26 this year, but basically it's a Monday in the middle of January, when we're supposed to feel the worst that we’ll feel all year. The idea is to do something nice for someone else on this day and by making someone else happy, hopefully you'll do it for yourself too.

Banish the misery … All too often we find ourselves thinking negatively about someone or something and quite often it's a sub conscious thought that we’re not even aware of. Try and identify negative thoughts when they happen and turn them around. Avoid negative people and influences in your life and focus on the good things. Look for the positive in any situation and it's guaranteed to be more productive.

Music is food for the soul… A tune that makes you feel happy, whether it's something that makes you want to dance, or makes you feel peaceful and content, has to be a good thing.

Stop comparing yourself to others... If you can find a way to be happy with who you are or become comfortable in your own skin, this is a great positive step. Stop comparing yourself to others, what they do, what they look like etc, and start focusing on the good things about you.

Set small, achievable goals… Don't be unrealistic with your goals and then beat yourself up when you don't achieve them. Focus on what you can do or achieve. Then feel good about the fact that you've achieved it.

Share the positivity… While we might say that people who are overly positive can be annoying, the chances are the effect they will have on your life will be a good one. Try and be the person that brings positivity to the world. A good start is a smile.

Why I’m loving exercise..

Ok, so, before you ask, this isn't going to be one of those really annoying “look at how wonderfully fit and healthy I am posts.”

I'm fully aware that, despite being classed as a healthy weight (just), that it wouldn't hurt me to shed the odd pound or two. And I'm also not suggesting I love exercise all of the time. In fact, when I'm exercising, I hate it most the time!

It's the feeling afterwards that I'm on about. I love it!

So, with the sun shining brightly outside and me feeling the effects of my latest HIIT workout, I thought I'd blog about it.

Obviously you exercise to fit into your clothes better, maybe shed a little fat, or generally have a more healthy lifestyle.

But what I love is the boost it gives me – to my mood, my energy levels, even my quality of breathing. This way, on the days when I really don't want to exercise (which is pretty much most days), I can guarantee that afterwards I'll feel flipping fantastic!

The thing I've found that does this most for me is HIIT or High Intensity Interval Training. Sounds scary, but it's only 20 minutes out of my day and you should check out Tabata – now that's scary! HIIT involves short intense bursts of exercise interspersed with periods of less intense exercise, for instance sprinting then jogging.

What I love about it too, is that apparently a HIIT workout for 20 minutes a day can be the equivalent of an hour at the gym! And believe it or not, your body continues to burn calories and fat for 24-48 hours after your workout is finished.

This is because a HIIT workout really gets your heart rate up and your body goes into its repair cycle as it works hard to pump more oxygen into your muscles.

My favourite HIIT workout at the minute is Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred, but you can put together your own HIIT workout easily, depending on which areas you want to improve. Just have a look online, there are tons of examples there.

So, with the new year, this is my resolution, to do my HIIT workout 3-5 times per week. Even as a busy mum I reckon I could squeeze in the time. Then hopefully come summer time I can squeeze into my bikini and get all martyr like about swimming in the sea... Ha!

How you know you've got kids…

Ok, so we already know that children don't do bank holidays or weekends, that's the obvious one.

If you've recently become a parent for the first time, you might have just discovered that there are two 4 o’clocks in the day as well.

But what about those really cute little things that make you smile to yourself (or pull your hair out in frustration)?

Here's a list of some of the things I thought of that make me remember I'm a mum:

1) Paintbrushes and pots jostle for space with the glasses and cutlery in the draining rack.
2) Nine pm is the new bedtime.
3) Cupboard doors and the fridge are now similar to the gallery from Tony Hart’s Hartbeat.
4) The toilet is no longer a private place.
5) Your bed now plays host to half the “In the night garden” characters and some trains.
6) There are only two TV channels - cbeebies or nick jr.
7) The car you were once proud of is now a skip on wheels.
8) Leaving the house now take three times as long.
9) A visit to a posh restaurant now means crayons, fish fingers and ice cream.
10) The gorgeous scented candles in your bathroom have now been replaced with rubber toys (and not the fun ones either).
11) You know the words to all of the Peppa Pig episodes and you also know all the words to Wind the Bobbin Up, Sleeping Bunnies and many more.
12) Your cupboards that once contained the sort of herbs and spices that would make Gordon Ramsay proud now contain spaghetti hoops and Haribo.

Do you know what? Unsurprisingly, these were just off the top of my head, I'm sure you could think of many more, or if you're not a parent yourself, it may be you have all this to come!

Well, I wouldn't change it for the world (except perhaps for a couple of hours on a Sunday morning).

I'm Loving Positive Self Talk!

Lately I've been looking at the subjects of happiness, kindness and inner peace.

Ok, don't worry, I'm not becoming a hippy 45 years too late. I just think we all need a little feel good in our lives and if done in a positive way, hopefully it will do us the world of good, maybe even those around us.

I've been lucky enough to do some work recently for the fabulous personal trainer Kelly Rennie, one of the authors of The Fit Mummy Manual

She's got some brilliant tips for getting back into shape post pregnancy, but one of her tips that really struck me was the theory of Positive Self Talk.

This is a technique sometimes used to help athletes stay focused and in an optimal state of mind. It is an internal conversation to create motivation, specific positive emotions, and belief.

The trick is not to listen to the voice that says: “This is too hard, I can't do it anymore,” because when we hear these words, they become our belief.

Instead you create a positive belief and therefore, a positive outcome. If you tell yourself you can do one more repetition or walk one more mile, you will.

It might sound a bit too idealistic to start with, but in thinking back on my life, it really makes sense.

One example – I used to be terrible at cross country at school. Then one day I thought, no, why shouldn't I be as good as the others?

From that day on I was always in the top ten finishers. It really honestly wasn't anabolic steroids, I just started believing in myself.

Even now when I go for a run, initially I start to get tired and think I'm going to stop, then I tell myself I can go further and all of a sudden it's fine again.

And for those of us who have been through problematic labours, for example, you might have got to a point where you thought "I can't do this anymore". I know I did.

Fact is you have to get through it one way or another, what other choice do you have? And this is where positive self talk can come into its own.

If you tell yourself you can do something and really believe it, chances are you will be able to do it. I honestly believe we're capable of so much more than we think. Maybe all it takes is a little more self confidence and self belief?

It's like the theory of the mum lifting the car off her run over child. Would you really believe that could happen? It just goes to show the strength of positive belief. If you want something enough you can do it.

I can't get over how strong our minds can be. Sometimes it feels like our minds are so much stronger than our bodies.

Access the true positive strength of your mind and you will be able to achieve so much more. That is something I truly believe, hippy or no hippy!

Communication is key!

I know I've rambled on in the past about how different men and women are.

How it fascinates me that two such different creatures have to pair up in order to contribute to the future of our human race.

This week it got me wondering how many relationships have broken down because of those differences and the fact that people are increasingly either unwilling or unable to communicate.

You see it's not just men and women who are different. We're all different.

And too many of us live life in a bubble, maintaining a stubborn unwillingness to see things from others' point of view and thinking everyone should think the same as we do.

When I was a cub reporter, I was sent on lots of diamond wedding anniversary stories. Gorgeous elderly couples who still loved each other like the day they were married, 60 years before.

The stock question I always asked them was: "What's the secret to a long and happy marriage?" And their stock reply: "Give and take."

You don't get many relationships lasting the test of time these days. And I think a breakdown in communication is the biggest issue.

What these lovely elderly people meant by give and take, was the need to be understanding of one another and work together as a team.

If couples don't even bother communicating anymore, how is this even possible?

Men generally think and want things one way, women the other. It's this great yin-yang, opposites attract, we compliment each other perfectly thing, that's meant to be so bloody wonderful.

We all know that. We've always known that and to be fair, it ain't so great, so there it is.

I believe that couples back in the day worked harder at relationships and acceptance of each other.

Yes, this was encouraged by society's lack of tolerance regarding divorce and separation, but maybe that was a good thing to some extent?

Why not try a bit harder and be a little more sympathetic and understanding, not just to your partner, but to people in general?

Take time to talk to one another. Practise good communication, understanding, patience, tolerance and of course, give and take.

I know I'm probably being idealistic, but this blog is call Sugar and Fairy Dust after all. And, in my everlasting pursuit of happiness, it can't hurt, can it?

The greatest love of all

A very close friend of mine has just told me she's having a baby!

While my own baby making days are far behind me, it's got me all broody again and thinking about how much your life changes.

Especially when it's your first.

I never cease to be amazed by how many changes are in store for you once that blue line appears.

And how one such tiny little bundle can completely alter life as you know it from that point onwards.

Funny thing is though, you can never truly grasp just how much your life will change until it actually happens.

People can tell you things, like your life stops being your own, your priorities change, your body changes beyond all recognition, you have to stop putting yourself first, but time and time again I've heard new parents say they never realised quite how much until they did it.

There are just so many changes, some good, some pretty tough, but one of my favourites is this.

It's a new type of love you'll feel, borne from the fires deep within your heart and soul.

One you can guarantee you've never felt before.

It's a love that truly makes you part of nature and a member of the animal kingdom.

One all-encompassing, protective, nurturing love, that means no matter what it takes, you will protect that person with your life, forever.

That, my friends, is what being a mother is truly all about. Of course, I rant about instilling confidence, discipline, mutual respect and a caring spirit in our children.

Bringing them up to be half decent contributors to society, rather than not bothering and letting them raise themselves, is so vital.

But loving them is the most important thing you can do. Because from that, everything else should follow.

That's why my heart bleeds for those tragic few who can't feel that love for their children.

To me, an unloved child is the saddest thing in the world, whatever walk of life we come from.

So, I've resolved to try harder to make the most of the trying, but delightful days I have with my little ones while they're small and to commit to memory everything I can.

Because ones thing's for sure, it's not going to last forever!

Some feel-good soul food free of charge!

Ok, so I know I rant a bit (lot) about how people should be nicer to each other.

It feels like these days people are so concerned with themselves that they live in a little bubble where kindness, thoughtfulness and understanding no longer exists.

It could be easy to get despondent, but I know for sure that out there are some little pockets of happiness and inner peace, just waiting to be discovered.

So, without meaning to sound like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons, I've decided to list a few ways I like to get a little bit of feel good in my life and they're totally (mostly) FOC!

The help your fellow man ones:

- Smile and make eye contact with someone you pass, maybe even say hello.

- Help someone.. An old lady drops something? Help her pick it up. You see a mum struggling with the little ones and the shopping - instead of tutting at the noise, why not hold the door open for her?

- Talk to an elderly person. They've got so many great stories to share.

- Someone's queuing to get out of a junction? Why not let them out?

- Leaving a car park and have a couple of hours left on your ticket? Why not give it to someone else?

- Buy a suspended coffee or sandwich and help someone more in need than you.

- When someone annoys you, how about killing them with kindness? Be nice - it'll do their heads in loads more and believe me, you'll feel so much better inside.

And the ones just for you - who knows, maybe they might make you feel like being a little nicer!

- Close your eyes and take some long deep breaths. Remember in through the nose, out through the mouth...

- Take a swim in the sea - feels fantastic!

- Give up on the pork life mate - get some exercise! I can't recommend Pilates enough - amazing for mind, body and soul!

- Take time to listen to or even record the sound of your children playing together and laughing. Nothing. In the world. Beats it.

Are you starting to feel the love yet?

Alex xx

Let Us Smile

Sticking on the subject of being nice, here's one I wrote a couple of years ago for the fabulous fashion, beauty and lifestyle website  I Am Into This which is created by the gorgeous Teresa and Samantha. If you haven't seen the site already, you should check it out!

Let Us Smile 

As summer days get warmer and the temperatures rise, it’s clear to see we’re all beginning to feel a little bit happier, as we confine our winter knits to the back of the wardrobe once again. 

It got me thinking about happiness and how random acts of kindness are cropping up all over the place.

Recent reports claim that while everyone is pulling the belt in, a positive result of the more austere times have shown an increase in kindness to our fellow man. 

When talking to members of the wartime generation, they recall a similar thing. The 1940s and 50s were times of terrible hardship as a result of rationing brought about by WWII.

But it was also hailed as a time when communities pulled together in defiance against the common enemy. People left their front doors unlocked when they went out, neighbours all knew each other and people genuinely cared for one another. 

It’s clear that things are different now. Tragic news stories of our time have reinforced people’s fears for the safety of their children and themselves.

There are some really terrible things happening. But while this is true, there are also some amazing things happening. 

One example that really struck me was ‘suspended coffee’ – an idea which began in Italy several years ago that has taken off in coffee shops across the world. Basically, when you buy yourself a coffee at a participating cafe, you also pay for a second one - which can then be claimed by someone who cannot afford it themselves.

They don't have to "prove" anything to claim one, but the scheme relies on the good faith of everyone involved. It doesn’t have to be for just homeless people, but can be for anyone who is struggling to make ends meet.

Acts of kindness don’t even have to mean spending your money.

I sometimes slate the village I live in. It’s quiet, there’s not much at all to do. Let’s face it, it’s completely boring. But on pounding the streets with my pram, as I regularly do, I’ve noticed one thing. Everyone you pass smiles and says hello. Some even stop and talk to you like they’ve known you for years.

The bigger cities may have the better parks and the trendy cafes and wine bars, but people seem to look at the ground when they walk by. It’s amazing the response you get when you smile and it was wonderful to find how a smile from a stranger seemed to brighten my day.

For just a day or even a week, why not try and do something to brighten someone’s day and I guarantee it will make you feel better too. Who knows, that person you pass in the street, may not have seen someone smile at them for weeks. So why not give it a go?

Source

As the old saying goes “mighty oaks from little acorns grow” and maybe, this time next year we’ll all be feeling a little happier.

Alex xx