Let Us Smile

Sticking on the subject of being nice, here's one I wrote a couple of years ago for the fabulous fashion, beauty and lifestyle website  I Am Into This which is created by the gorgeous Teresa and Samantha. If you haven't seen the site already, you should check it out!

Let Us Smile 

As summer days get warmer and the temperatures rise, it’s clear to see we’re all beginning to feel a little bit happier, as we confine our winter knits to the back of the wardrobe once again. 

It got me thinking about happiness and how random acts of kindness are cropping up all over the place.

Recent reports claim that while everyone is pulling the belt in, a positive result of the more austere times have shown an increase in kindness to our fellow man. 

When talking to members of the wartime generation, they recall a similar thing. The 1940s and 50s were times of terrible hardship as a result of rationing brought about by WWII.

But it was also hailed as a time when communities pulled together in defiance against the common enemy. People left their front doors unlocked when they went out, neighbours all knew each other and people genuinely cared for one another. 

It’s clear that things are different now. Tragic news stories of our time have reinforced people’s fears for the safety of their children and themselves.

There are some really terrible things happening. But while this is true, there are also some amazing things happening. 

One example that really struck me was ‘suspended coffee’ – an idea which began in Italy several years ago that has taken off in coffee shops across the world. Basically, when you buy yourself a coffee at a participating cafe, you also pay for a second one - which can then be claimed by someone who cannot afford it themselves.

They don't have to "prove" anything to claim one, but the scheme relies on the good faith of everyone involved. It doesn’t have to be for just homeless people, but can be for anyone who is struggling to make ends meet.

Acts of kindness don’t even have to mean spending your money.

I sometimes slate the village I live in. It’s quiet, there’s not much at all to do. Let’s face it, it’s completely boring. But on pounding the streets with my pram, as I regularly do, I’ve noticed one thing. Everyone you pass smiles and says hello. Some even stop and talk to you like they’ve known you for years.

The bigger cities may have the better parks and the trendy cafes and wine bars, but people seem to look at the ground when they walk by. It’s amazing the response you get when you smile and it was wonderful to find how a smile from a stranger seemed to brighten my day.

For just a day or even a week, why not try and do something to brighten someone’s day and I guarantee it will make you feel better too. Who knows, that person you pass in the street, may not have seen someone smile at them for weeks. So why not give it a go?

Source

As the old saying goes “mighty oaks from little acorns grow” and maybe, this time next year we’ll all be feeling a little happier.

Alex xx

Can we be a bit nicer? Pretty please?

Can someone tell me what is going on with the human race these days please?

Fact is, times are harder and we all have our crosses to bear and problems to deal with.

But does this really mean that taking it out on others is the answer?

Can nobody see that by just being a little kinder and more understanding to your fellow man, that it might just help you too?

Ok, so I'm slightly less tolerant at the moment.

I'm covered from head to toe in itchy red eczema, because I've developed an allergy to something and nobody's got a clue what it is.

And looking after two preschooler boys on my own for seven weeks of the summer holidays is, shall we say, testing.

But, fact is, being nice makes you feel better inside and that's why I still find the ability to be kind and sympathetic to others and I'm no saint by any stretch of the imagination!

Like in Sainsburys today. Pushing a trolley round with two little monkeys inside, tends to take your concentration.

So I pulled up to a checkout that had a tiny sign on it saying it was closing. Terribly sorry, I didn't see it, ok I'll move on.

Was it me huffing and puffing at the inconvenience? No, it was the (older) checkout assistant rolling her eyes at the (older) customer she was serving.

Did I deserve that? No. Totally unnecessary.

But, it seems people these days would rather be nasty than nice.

Another example - trying to pull out of my street onto the main road. Even though the traffic is coming to a halt, people would rather look at you like you're something they've trodden in and pull up in front of you than let you out in front of them.

Quite honestly it makes me feel a little ill. What is wrong with these people?

I know it can't be the case all the time but at the minute it feels like customer service, manners, friendliness and just a simple supportive smile have all but gone.

And I tell you one thing for sure, it's not going to get any of us anywhere.

On the positive side, minutes after the Sainsbury's incident, another assistant was chatting to my little boy, giving him high fives and making him laugh while my other child helped me unload the trolley.

Now, why can't things be like that more? It's so much easier for all concerned!

I suppose it's just down to the individual, but I'm still going to keep trying to be nice whatever, so there.

Rant over. As you were... :-)

Many an FFS moment to share!

My Top 10 Sod's flipping Law, kick you in the butt when you're worn out, things about parenthood...

Now, don't get me wrong, I love being a mum. My little men and their toothy grins, their quirky little mannerisms and the little songs they sing, are my raison d'être.

But, very often I find myself laughing cynically about how full of FFS, Sod's Law and irony this whole parenting lark is.

So I've compiled my top few "FFS moments" in no particular order, for your entertainment, in the hope that I'm not alone and completely insane!

Please add your own via FB or comment below!

* Labour  - most natural thing in the world - effing painful. Why, oh why, is this necessary?

* Crying newborns most often want you to walk around with them, when you've had no sleep yourself and all you want to do is sit down.

* When you're in a rush to dry your hands to get to a crying child, tea towels roll themselves up in your hands and become useless.

* Babies and toddlers sharpen their elbows especially for your boobs and other painful places.

* Current guidelines suggest making baby bottles fresh and letting the boiled water cool for half an hour before making them. How many babies will wait that long?

* When you're at your most tired and irritable, that's when children play up the most.

* The time with your newborn that you want to savour and enjoy is the time you're more like a worn out zombie and probably wouldn't notice if they'd turned into an elephant!

* Children have a natural predisposition to become daredevils and try new things the day before a big event.. See christenings, weddings, first day at nursery etc...

* It doesn't matter how hard you try, children are always programmed to wake up ready and raring to go for the day between 5am and 6am ... 365/7. Was I totally stupid when I was surprised to find babies didn't differentiate between weekdays, weekends and bank holidays...? Sounds silly now!

* Toilets, toilet brushes, sofa cushions, litter, mud, poo, play doh and felt tip pens are fascinating.

And all I'm going to do is smile sweetly, curse silently under my breath and carry on regardless!

Cancer - the biggest heartbreaker

I really want to talk to my Gran today, desperately. So much it hurts.

I need my Gran today because only she could offer the words of comfort and reassurance that I so desperately need.

But, despite the fact that I could talk to her in person, it wouldn't be her there anymore.

You see, she's dying very slowly of cancer. And little by little this vile scourge is eating painfully away at every part of her and the Gran I once knew is no longer there.

Now in its final stages, this cruel and wicked disease has finally moved onto her brain. She doesn't really know who we are anymore and drifts in and out of consciousness with an air of quiet inevitability and acceptance of what is to come.

This was a woman who I could talk to about anything. If something or someone hurt me, she would have my back, no matter what.

I love the way she would apply reasoning from her own experiences and expectations, like people still acted and behaved in the way they did sixty years ago.

To start with I felt selfish getting so upset that I couldn't have my Gran there for me anymore. After all, I'm not the one who is dying slowly and painfully, losing every dignity I once held dear.

But then I realised, we all have to go eventually, one way or another. My Gran is 94 years old and has had a long and happy life.

She truly believes it won't be long before she meets my Grandpa and her parents again and I think that's beautiful.

When it happens though, a piece of me will be missing forever. A comfort and support that I won't ever get again. Call me selfish, but that's what hurts the most.

When is it ok to be a mummy to all?

Gosh it's an age old question isn't it?

You're friends with someone, really close friends actually.

But when comes the point that it's ok to tell your friend's kids off when they're being naughty?

When is it ok to take those kids only a few feet away to play on a climbing frame with your own children when their mum's got her hands full?

Do you know what? Today I found out there's no formula, it's all down to the individual.

You see, I've made loads of friends at my son's pre school and while we all parent in different ways, there's a kind of an unspoken bond.

Sometimes as a mum, you just instinctively do things to help other mums out, because it's a tough job, let's face it!

Other mums are the only people in the world who know just how much hard work it is to do what we do.

So we all kind of muck in together. Or that's what I've found.

Just the other day, for instance, one of my friends, who is a mum to two boys like me, suggested that she take the two older boys into pre school while I kept an eye on the younger ones.

That worked really well. The older two enjoyed going in together and the younger two didn't feel the need to kick off because they couldn't join in. Great!

But then, at a school fete today, with a friend who was running a stall there, I let her kids step a couple of feet away to play with mine for a minute, thinking she'd appreciate it while she was busy.

You'd think I'd committed mass genocide!

I suppose that because we were so close by and she could see us - and because we were such good friends - I just assumed she be grateful that I was trying to keep them entertained and that she'd appreciate it. But apparently not.

Fact is, you can never second guess people and you can never generalise about the way people think.

They do say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, so maybe I just need to be a bit more selfish in future?

After all we don't live in a commune do we? Why should we look out for each other?

Actually, I think we should. But, I guess that's just what makes me an individual.

Eeeeeks! It's finally happened!

Just like the film Freaky Friday (the Jodie Foster version) I have officially turned into my mother and my mother has turned into me!

Here I am about to go to bed on a Sunday night at 10pm, tutting away to myself,  because the people opposite are having a banging, boozy house party!

There was a time when I would have been gutted that I didn't get an invite.

Now all I can think of is how selfish they are playing music so loud at this time, with people having to work in the morning and how it had better not wake the children up!

My mother, on the other hand, would have preferred to be over there joining in, I'm sure!

What on earth has happened?

I can only deduce that with parenthood comes a certain air of responsibility and the relief of giving up the "children still at home" stage of parenthood brings about some sort of sense of freedom.

Now enjoying their retirement, my mother has informed me that her and my father would like to buy a holiday home in Brighton, because they like the buzz of the place!

Ok, Brighton is a really lively and lovely place to be, but SAGA it ain't! Maybe a bit further up the coast in Eastbourne, but hey ho, who am I to judge?

After all, it was only five years ago I was trotting up and down the stunning, but very steep, Amalfi coast - now holidays have to be all about family friendly fun time!

It all reminds me of a phrase my beautiful but mischievous 94-year-old gran told me once about starting life as a child and ending it as a child.

Because with childhood comes a sense of freedom, fun and irresponsibility and at the end of your life, when you've done everything you're supposed to, why not have a little fun?

The travel bug has hit!

This beautiful sunshine really is fabulous isn't it!

I flipping love the summer and one thing that sunshine makes me dream of is travelling to far flung climes for a lovely relaxing break or the chance to do some exploring!

Thing is, with most of us feeling the pinch these days, that dream holiday really needs to be right first time doesn't it...  And cheap!

After all, once we've raided the poor piggy bank for the umpteenth time, who knows when we'll get the chance again?

So I've put together my wish list for a perfect holiday:

Leg room on the plane - it's nice to make friends, but those seats really are crammed into the plane aren't they? I think shorter people must feel cramped, but, being of the giraffe variety myself, enough space is a must!

Kiddy friendly passengers on the plane and in the hotel as well as understanding staff... Whole new ball game when you have children isn't it? Say no more..!

Clean and functional hotel - I really don't want to travel to somewhere that's like a dirtier version of home. I want some luxury and to feel pampered when I'm on holiday.. High maintenance? Moi?

Everything done for you - look, I'm not talking about helping me wash and dress here, just having someone else do the cooking and clearing up would be AMAZING!

Safe spaces for children to play - as mentioned above, it is a different ball game when travelling with little ones, but if you do get a chance to relax for five minutes you want to know they can't go far and get into any danger.

Happy children.. make for happy mummies and daddies.

No massive queues - made all the worse by doing it in the stifling heat. Go on, open up another counter, pleeeease!

And finally... I spend much of my mummy life craving it... Peace!

(So no holidays next to building sites or banging nightclubs please!)

If you can find me all of this for the price of a bus ticket, couple of receipts, a few moths and the rest of the fluff in my handbag, I'll be happy!