I know I've rambled on in the past about how different men and women are.
How it fascinates me that two such different creatures have to pair up in order to contribute to the future of our human race.
This week it got me wondering how many relationships have broken down because of those differences and the fact that people are increasingly either unwilling or unable to communicate.
You see it's not just men and women who are different. We're all different.
And too many of us live life in a bubble, maintaining a stubborn unwillingness to see things from others' point of view and thinking everyone should think the same as we do.
When I was a cub reporter, I was sent on lots of diamond wedding anniversary stories. Gorgeous elderly couples who still loved each other like the day they were married, 60 years before.
The stock question I always asked them was: "What's the secret to a long and happy marriage?" And their stock reply: "Give and take."
You don't get many relationships lasting the test of time these days. And I think a breakdown in communication is the biggest issue.
What these lovely elderly people meant by give and take, was the need to be understanding of one another and work together as a team.
If couples don't even bother communicating anymore, how is this even possible?
Men generally think and want things one way, women the other. It's this great yin-yang, opposites attract, we compliment each other perfectly thing, that's meant to be so bloody wonderful.
We all know that. We've always known that and to be fair, it ain't so great, so there it is.
I believe that couples back in the day worked harder at relationships and acceptance of each other.
Yes, this was encouraged by society's lack of tolerance regarding divorce and separation, but maybe that was a good thing to some extent?
Why not try a bit harder and be a little more sympathetic and understanding, not just to your partner, but to people in general?
Take time to talk to one another. Practise good communication, understanding, patience, tolerance and of course, give and take.
I know I'm probably being idealistic, but this blog is call Sugar and Fairy Dust after all. And, in my everlasting pursuit of happiness, it can't hurt, can it?
Saturday, 9 August 2014
Monday, 4 August 2014
The greatest love of all
A very close friend of mine has just told me she's having a baby!
While my own baby making days are far behind me, it's got me all broody again and thinking about how much your life changes.
Especially when it's your first.
I never cease to be amazed by how many changes are in store for you once that blue line appears.
And how one such tiny little bundle can completely alter life as you know it from that point onwards.
Funny thing is though, you can never truly grasp just how much your life will change until it actually happens.
People can tell you things, like your life stops being your own, your priorities change, your body changes beyond all recognition, you have to stop putting yourself first, but time and time again I've heard new parents say they never realised quite how much until they did it.
There are just so many changes, some good, some pretty tough, but one of my favourites is this.
It's a new type of love you'll feel, borne from the fires deep within your heart and soul.
One you can guarantee you've never felt before.
It's a love that truly makes you part of nature and a member of the animal kingdom.
One all-encompassing, protective, nurturing love, that means no matter what it takes, you will protect that person with your life, forever.
That, my friends, is what being a mother is truly all about. Of course, I rant about instilling confidence, discipline, mutual respect and a caring spirit in our children.
Bringing them up to be half decent contributors to society, rather than not bothering and letting them raise themselves, is so vital.
But loving them is the most important thing you can do. Because from that, everything else should follow.
That's why my heart bleeds for those tragic few who can't feel that love for their children.
To me, an unloved child is the saddest thing in the world, whatever walk of life we come from.
So, I've resolved to try harder to make the most of the trying, but delightful days I have with my little ones while they're small and to commit to memory everything I can.
Because ones thing's for sure, it's not going to last forever!
While my own baby making days are far behind me, it's got me all broody again and thinking about how much your life changes.
Especially when it's your first.
I never cease to be amazed by how many changes are in store for you once that blue line appears.
And how one such tiny little bundle can completely alter life as you know it from that point onwards.
Funny thing is though, you can never truly grasp just how much your life will change until it actually happens.
People can tell you things, like your life stops being your own, your priorities change, your body changes beyond all recognition, you have to stop putting yourself first, but time and time again I've heard new parents say they never realised quite how much until they did it.
There are just so many changes, some good, some pretty tough, but one of my favourites is this.
It's a new type of love you'll feel, borne from the fires deep within your heart and soul.
One you can guarantee you've never felt before.
It's a love that truly makes you part of nature and a member of the animal kingdom.
One all-encompassing, protective, nurturing love, that means no matter what it takes, you will protect that person with your life, forever.
That, my friends, is what being a mother is truly all about. Of course, I rant about instilling confidence, discipline, mutual respect and a caring spirit in our children.
Bringing them up to be half decent contributors to society, rather than not bothering and letting them raise themselves, is so vital.
But loving them is the most important thing you can do. Because from that, everything else should follow.
That's why my heart bleeds for those tragic few who can't feel that love for their children.
To me, an unloved child is the saddest thing in the world, whatever walk of life we come from.
So, I've resolved to try harder to make the most of the trying, but delightful days I have with my little ones while they're small and to commit to memory everything I can.
Because ones thing's for sure, it's not going to last forever!
Saturday, 2 August 2014
Some feel-good soul food free of charge!
Ok, so I know I rant a bit (lot) about how people should be nicer to each other.
It feels like these days people are so concerned with themselves that they live in a little bubble where kindness, thoughtfulness and understanding no longer exists.
It could be easy to get despondent, but I know for sure that out there are some little pockets of happiness and inner peace, just waiting to be discovered.
So, without meaning to sound like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons, I've decided to list a few ways I like to get a little bit of feel good in my life and they're totally (mostly) FOC!
The help your fellow man ones:
- Smile and make eye contact with someone you pass, maybe even say hello.
- Help someone.. An old lady drops something? Help her pick it up. You see a mum struggling with the little ones and the shopping - instead of tutting at the noise, why not hold the door open for her?
- Talk to an elderly person. They've got so many great stories to share.
- Someone's queuing to get out of a junction? Why not let them out?
- Leaving a car park and have a couple of hours left on your ticket? Why not give it to someone else?
- Buy a suspended coffee or sandwich and help someone more in need than you.
- When someone annoys you, how about killing them with kindness? Be nice - it'll do their heads in loads more and believe me, you'll feel so much better inside.
And the ones just for you - who knows, maybe they might make you feel like being a little nicer!
- Close your eyes and take some long deep breaths. Remember in through the nose, out through the mouth...
- Take a swim in the sea - feels fantastic!
- Give up on the pork life mate - get some exercise! I can't recommend Pilates enough - amazing for mind, body and soul!
- Take time to listen to or even record the sound of your children playing together and laughing. Nothing. In the world. Beats it.
Are you starting to feel the love yet?
Alex xx
It feels like these days people are so concerned with themselves that they live in a little bubble where kindness, thoughtfulness and understanding no longer exists.
It could be easy to get despondent, but I know for sure that out there are some little pockets of happiness and inner peace, just waiting to be discovered.
So, without meaning to sound like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons, I've decided to list a few ways I like to get a little bit of feel good in my life and they're totally (mostly) FOC!
The help your fellow man ones:
- Smile and make eye contact with someone you pass, maybe even say hello.
- Help someone.. An old lady drops something? Help her pick it up. You see a mum struggling with the little ones and the shopping - instead of tutting at the noise, why not hold the door open for her?
- Talk to an elderly person. They've got so many great stories to share.
- Someone's queuing to get out of a junction? Why not let them out?
- Leaving a car park and have a couple of hours left on your ticket? Why not give it to someone else?
- Buy a suspended coffee or sandwich and help someone more in need than you.
- When someone annoys you, how about killing them with kindness? Be nice - it'll do their heads in loads more and believe me, you'll feel so much better inside.
And the ones just for you - who knows, maybe they might make you feel like being a little nicer!
- Close your eyes and take some long deep breaths. Remember in through the nose, out through the mouth...
- Take a swim in the sea - feels fantastic!
- Give up on the pork life mate - get some exercise! I can't recommend Pilates enough - amazing for mind, body and soul!
- Take time to listen to or even record the sound of your children playing together and laughing. Nothing. In the world. Beats it.
Are you starting to feel the love yet?
Alex xx
Thursday, 31 July 2014
Let Us Smile
Sticking on the subject of being nice, here's one I wrote a couple of years ago for the fabulous fashion, beauty and lifestyle website I Am Into This which is created by the gorgeous Teresa and Samantha. If you haven't seen the site already, you should check it out!
As summer days get warmer and the temperatures rise, it’s clear to see we’re all beginning to feel a little bit happier, as we confine our winter knits to the back of the wardrobe once again.
It got me thinking about happiness and how random acts of kindness are cropping up all over the place.
Recent reports claim that while everyone is pulling the belt in, a positive result of the more austere times have shown an increase in kindness to our fellow man.
When talking to members of the wartime generation, they recall a similar thing. The 1940s and 50s were times of terrible hardship as a result of rationing brought about by WWII.
But it was also hailed as a time when communities pulled together in defiance against the common enemy. People left their front doors unlocked when they went out, neighbours all knew each other and people genuinely cared for one another.
It’s clear that things are different now. Tragic news stories of our time have reinforced people’s fears for the safety of their children and themselves.
There are some really terrible things happening. But while this is true, there are also some amazing things happening.
One example that really struck me was ‘suspended coffee’ – an idea which began in Italy several years ago that has taken off in coffee shops across the world. Basically, when you buy yourself a coffee at a participating cafe, you also pay for a second one - which can then be claimed by someone who cannot afford it themselves.
They don't have to "prove" anything to claim one, but the scheme relies on the good faith of everyone involved. It doesn’t have to be for just homeless people, but can be for anyone who is struggling to make ends meet.
Acts of kindness don’t even have to mean spending your money.
I sometimes slate the village I live in. It’s quiet, there’s not much at all to do. Let’s face it, it’s completely boring. But on pounding the streets with my pram, as I regularly do, I’ve noticed one thing. Everyone you pass smiles and says hello. Some even stop and talk to you like they’ve known you for years.
The bigger cities may have the better parks and the trendy cafes and wine bars, but people seem to look at the ground when they walk by. It’s amazing the response you get when you smile and it was wonderful to find how a smile from a stranger seemed to brighten my day.
For just a day or even a week, why not try and do something to brighten someone’s day and I guarantee it will make you feel better too. Who knows, that person you pass in the street, may not have seen someone smile at them for weeks. So why not give it a go?
As the old saying goes “mighty oaks from little acorns grow” and maybe, this time next year we’ll all be feeling a little happier.
Let Us Smile
As summer days get warmer and the temperatures rise, it’s clear to see we’re all beginning to feel a little bit happier, as we confine our winter knits to the back of the wardrobe once again.
It got me thinking about happiness and how random acts of kindness are cropping up all over the place.
Recent reports claim that while everyone is pulling the belt in, a positive result of the more austere times have shown an increase in kindness to our fellow man.
When talking to members of the wartime generation, they recall a similar thing. The 1940s and 50s were times of terrible hardship as a result of rationing brought about by WWII.
But it was also hailed as a time when communities pulled together in defiance against the common enemy. People left their front doors unlocked when they went out, neighbours all knew each other and people genuinely cared for one another.
It’s clear that things are different now. Tragic news stories of our time have reinforced people’s fears for the safety of their children and themselves.
There are some really terrible things happening. But while this is true, there are also some amazing things happening.
One example that really struck me was ‘suspended coffee’ – an idea which began in Italy several years ago that has taken off in coffee shops across the world. Basically, when you buy yourself a coffee at a participating cafe, you also pay for a second one - which can then be claimed by someone who cannot afford it themselves.
They don't have to "prove" anything to claim one, but the scheme relies on the good faith of everyone involved. It doesn’t have to be for just homeless people, but can be for anyone who is struggling to make ends meet.
Acts of kindness don’t even have to mean spending your money.
I sometimes slate the village I live in. It’s quiet, there’s not much at all to do. Let’s face it, it’s completely boring. But on pounding the streets with my pram, as I regularly do, I’ve noticed one thing. Everyone you pass smiles and says hello. Some even stop and talk to you like they’ve known you for years.
The bigger cities may have the better parks and the trendy cafes and wine bars, but people seem to look at the ground when they walk by. It’s amazing the response you get when you smile and it was wonderful to find how a smile from a stranger seemed to brighten my day.
For just a day or even a week, why not try and do something to brighten someone’s day and I guarantee it will make you feel better too. Who knows, that person you pass in the street, may not have seen someone smile at them for weeks. So why not give it a go?
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| Source |
As the old saying goes “mighty oaks from little acorns grow” and maybe, this time next year we’ll all be feeling a little happier.
Alex xx
Can we be a bit nicer? Pretty please?
Can someone tell me what is going on with the human race these days please?
Fact is, times are harder and we all have our crosses to bear and problems to deal with.
But does this really mean that taking it out on others is the answer?
Can nobody see that by just being a little kinder and more understanding to your fellow man, that it might just help you too?
Ok, so I'm slightly less tolerant at the moment.
I'm covered from head to toe in itchy red eczema, because I've developed an allergy to something and nobody's got a clue what it is.
And looking after two preschooler boys on my own for seven weeks of the summer holidays is, shall we say, testing.
But, fact is, being nice makes you feel better inside and that's why I still find the ability to be kind and sympathetic to others and I'm no saint by any stretch of the imagination!
Like in Sainsburys today. Pushing a trolley round with two little monkeys inside, tends to take your concentration.
So I pulled up to a checkout that had a tiny sign on it saying it was closing. Terribly sorry, I didn't see it, ok I'll move on.
Was it me huffing and puffing at the inconvenience? No, it was the (older) checkout assistant rolling her eyes at the (older) customer she was serving.
Did I deserve that? No. Totally unnecessary.
But, it seems people these days would rather be nasty than nice.
Another example - trying to pull out of my street onto the main road. Even though the traffic is coming to a halt, people would rather look at you like you're something they've trodden in and pull up in front of you than let you out in front of them.
Quite honestly it makes me feel a little ill. What is wrong with these people?
I know it can't be the case all the time but at the minute it feels like customer service, manners, friendliness and just a simple supportive smile have all but gone.
And I tell you one thing for sure, it's not going to get any of us anywhere.
On the positive side, minutes after the Sainsbury's incident, another assistant was chatting to my little boy, giving him high fives and making him laugh while my other child helped me unload the trolley.
Now, why can't things be like that more? It's so much easier for all concerned!
I suppose it's just down to the individual, but I'm still going to keep trying to be nice whatever, so there.
Rant over. As you were... :-)
Fact is, times are harder and we all have our crosses to bear and problems to deal with.
But does this really mean that taking it out on others is the answer?
Can nobody see that by just being a little kinder and more understanding to your fellow man, that it might just help you too?
Ok, so I'm slightly less tolerant at the moment.
I'm covered from head to toe in itchy red eczema, because I've developed an allergy to something and nobody's got a clue what it is.
And looking after two preschooler boys on my own for seven weeks of the summer holidays is, shall we say, testing.
But, fact is, being nice makes you feel better inside and that's why I still find the ability to be kind and sympathetic to others and I'm no saint by any stretch of the imagination!
Like in Sainsburys today. Pushing a trolley round with two little monkeys inside, tends to take your concentration.
So I pulled up to a checkout that had a tiny sign on it saying it was closing. Terribly sorry, I didn't see it, ok I'll move on.
Was it me huffing and puffing at the inconvenience? No, it was the (older) checkout assistant rolling her eyes at the (older) customer she was serving.
Did I deserve that? No. Totally unnecessary.
But, it seems people these days would rather be nasty than nice.
Another example - trying to pull out of my street onto the main road. Even though the traffic is coming to a halt, people would rather look at you like you're something they've trodden in and pull up in front of you than let you out in front of them.
Quite honestly it makes me feel a little ill. What is wrong with these people?
I know it can't be the case all the time but at the minute it feels like customer service, manners, friendliness and just a simple supportive smile have all but gone.
And I tell you one thing for sure, it's not going to get any of us anywhere.
On the positive side, minutes after the Sainsbury's incident, another assistant was chatting to my little boy, giving him high fives and making him laugh while my other child helped me unload the trolley.
Now, why can't things be like that more? It's so much easier for all concerned!
I suppose it's just down to the individual, but I'm still going to keep trying to be nice whatever, so there.
Rant over. As you were... :-)
Wednesday, 9 July 2014
Many an FFS moment to share!
My Top 10 Sod's flipping Law, kick you in the butt when you're worn out, things about parenthood...
Now, don't get me wrong, I love being a mum. My little men and their toothy grins, their quirky little mannerisms and the little songs they sing, are my raison d'être.
But, very often I find myself laughing cynically about how full of FFS, Sod's Law and irony this whole parenting lark is.
So I've compiled my top few "FFS moments" in no particular order, for your entertainment, in the hope that I'm not alone and completely insane!
Please add your own via FB or comment below!
* Labour - most natural thing in the world - effing painful. Why, oh why, is this necessary?
* Crying newborns most often want you to walk around with them, when you've had no sleep yourself and all you want to do is sit down.
* When you're in a rush to dry your hands to get to a crying child, tea towels roll themselves up in your hands and become useless.
* Babies and toddlers sharpen their elbows especially for your boobs and other painful places.
* Current guidelines suggest making baby bottles fresh and letting the boiled water cool for half an hour before making them. How many babies will wait that long?
* When you're at your most tired and irritable, that's when children play up the most.
* The time with your newborn that you want to savour and enjoy is the time you're more like a worn out zombie and probably wouldn't notice if they'd turned into an elephant!
* Children have a natural predisposition to become daredevils and try new things the day before a big event.. See christenings, weddings, first day at nursery etc...
* It doesn't matter how hard you try, children are always programmed to wake up ready and raring to go for the day between 5am and 6am ... 365/7. Was I totally stupid when I was surprised to find babies didn't differentiate between weekdays, weekends and bank holidays...? Sounds silly now!
* Toilets, toilet brushes, sofa cushions, litter, mud, poo, play doh and felt tip pens are fascinating.
And all I'm going to do is smile sweetly, curse silently under my breath and carry on regardless!
Now, don't get me wrong, I love being a mum. My little men and their toothy grins, their quirky little mannerisms and the little songs they sing, are my raison d'être.
But, very often I find myself laughing cynically about how full of FFS, Sod's Law and irony this whole parenting lark is.
So I've compiled my top few "FFS moments" in no particular order, for your entertainment, in the hope that I'm not alone and completely insane!
Please add your own via FB or comment below!
* Labour - most natural thing in the world - effing painful. Why, oh why, is this necessary?
* Crying newborns most often want you to walk around with them, when you've had no sleep yourself and all you want to do is sit down.
* When you're in a rush to dry your hands to get to a crying child, tea towels roll themselves up in your hands and become useless.
* Babies and toddlers sharpen their elbows especially for your boobs and other painful places.
* Current guidelines suggest making baby bottles fresh and letting the boiled water cool for half an hour before making them. How many babies will wait that long?
* When you're at your most tired and irritable, that's when children play up the most.
* The time with your newborn that you want to savour and enjoy is the time you're more like a worn out zombie and probably wouldn't notice if they'd turned into an elephant!
* Children have a natural predisposition to become daredevils and try new things the day before a big event.. See christenings, weddings, first day at nursery etc...
* It doesn't matter how hard you try, children are always programmed to wake up ready and raring to go for the day between 5am and 6am ... 365/7. Was I totally stupid when I was surprised to find babies didn't differentiate between weekdays, weekends and bank holidays...? Sounds silly now!
* Toilets, toilet brushes, sofa cushions, litter, mud, poo, play doh and felt tip pens are fascinating.
And all I'm going to do is smile sweetly, curse silently under my breath and carry on regardless!
Sunday, 29 June 2014
Cancer - the biggest heartbreaker
I really want to talk to my Gran today, desperately. So much it hurts.
I need my Gran today because only she could offer the words of comfort and reassurance that I so desperately need.
But, despite the fact that I could talk to her in person, it wouldn't be her there anymore.
You see, she's dying very slowly of cancer. And little by little this vile scourge is eating painfully away at every part of her and the Gran I once knew is no longer there.
Now in its final stages, this cruel and wicked disease has finally moved onto her brain. She doesn't really know who we are anymore and drifts in and out of consciousness with an air of quiet inevitability and acceptance of what is to come.
This was a woman who I could talk to about anything. If something or someone hurt me, she would have my back, no matter what.
I love the way she would apply reasoning from her own experiences and expectations, like people still acted and behaved in the way they did sixty years ago.
To start with I felt selfish getting so upset that I couldn't have my Gran there for me anymore. After all, I'm not the one who is dying slowly and painfully, losing every dignity I once held dear.
But then I realised, we all have to go eventually, one way or another. My Gran is 94 years old and has had a long and happy life.
She truly believes it won't be long before she meets my Grandpa and her parents again and I think that's beautiful.
When it happens though, a piece of me will be missing forever. A comfort and support that I won't ever get again. Call me selfish, but that's what hurts the most.
I need my Gran today because only she could offer the words of comfort and reassurance that I so desperately need.
But, despite the fact that I could talk to her in person, it wouldn't be her there anymore.
You see, she's dying very slowly of cancer. And little by little this vile scourge is eating painfully away at every part of her and the Gran I once knew is no longer there.
Now in its final stages, this cruel and wicked disease has finally moved onto her brain. She doesn't really know who we are anymore and drifts in and out of consciousness with an air of quiet inevitability and acceptance of what is to come.
This was a woman who I could talk to about anything. If something or someone hurt me, she would have my back, no matter what.
I love the way she would apply reasoning from her own experiences and expectations, like people still acted and behaved in the way they did sixty years ago.
To start with I felt selfish getting so upset that I couldn't have my Gran there for me anymore. After all, I'm not the one who is dying slowly and painfully, losing every dignity I once held dear.
But then I realised, we all have to go eventually, one way or another. My Gran is 94 years old and has had a long and happy life.
She truly believes it won't be long before she meets my Grandpa and her parents again and I think that's beautiful.
When it happens though, a piece of me will be missing forever. A comfort and support that I won't ever get again. Call me selfish, but that's what hurts the most.
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